Postpartum Love Is…

A collection of quotes and messages from families with kiddos ages 0-18. Real words, from real parents who have been through the very real postpartum trenches.

I asked parents to share practical ways their support system showed love during the postpartum period. Filtering through dozens of responses, five major themes stuck out to me. So, if you’re wondering how to show up for someone in the postpartum period, this blog post is a great place to start! 

RESPECT

Respecting the family’s boundaries and wishes was absolutely the top response. Many shared stories of challenges in this area, especially when it comes to visitors. 

“Respecting our boundaries and requests in terms of visitors (we wanted no visitors the first month postpartum and it was the best thing for us! We really cherished that time together)”

“Respecting boundaries for visiting/holding baby without question”

“Respecting my request to not share any photos of the baby on social media”

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

The postpartum period is beautiful and also extremely challenging. Parents said acknowledging the struggles in addition to the successes made them feel less alone in it all. Also just acknowledging how you’re feeling can go a long way.

“Acknowledging how hard a lot of this is and reassuring new parents they’re doing great”

“Responding to every baby pic with a heart or something encouraging”

“Communicating honestly with one another of where you’re at and what you need”

RESPONSIVENESS

Responding to the needs of the postpartum parent as well as the needs of the household - and here’s the key… without being told

“Doing the laundry, and folding it and putting it away from them”

“Words of reassurance and beating the wife to chores every chance I get”

“Doing things that lighten the mental load for your partner, like making sure the pump is always ready to be used”

FOOD

Since as humans we need food and water to survive, it’s no surprise this came up. What was surprising was how many messages I received with the same, simple message. It was a beautiful reminder of how a filled water bottle and a person’s favorite foods can make them feel so loved. 

“Refilling your water bottle without asking”

“Having snacks at the ready and always refilling my water without me knowing”

“Bringing food or meals is massively helpful”

SILENCE

Another way to show love is to keep your opinions about the family’s decisions, parenting philosophies, etc. to yourself. Also, reaching out without the expectation of a response. Sometimes, silence is the answer. 

“Resisting the urge to give advice unless asked for. Every family/baby is different”

“Not giving your opinions regardless of how the new parents are doing something” 

“Just being with me, without saying anything”

“Thinking of you texts that didn’t require a response”

Honorable Mention

These sweet quotes didn’t quite fit into the above categories, but deserve to be seen.

“Changing both the baby’s diaper and mine”

“Being patient with my mood swings” 

“Understanding that how I show up in friendships will look different now that I’m a mom”

“Treating us to overnight doula help so we could both get uninterrupted sleep” - I had to include this one, truly a gift!